The Many Faces of Gendry
by ladycamila
Summary: AU. Arya sees the many faces of Gendry.


Thought

She wonders if the bile will ever leave her throat.

She wonders if the tears will ever stop being on the rim of her eyes; willing her to break and cry and call for her mother and brothers and sister and wolf.

She wonders if the wind will ever stop whispering _traitor to the crown _and _sentenced to death _to her in the night.

She doubts it.

But one day she looks at the sorry lot around her and her eyes land on the bull headed boy. He's sitting on a rock and staring into the distance. His eyes look focused on nothing in particular and the wheels turning in his head are loud enough for her to hear and feel. His lips are drawn into a thin line and his left hand is rubbing a bruise on his right wrist. She knows this look. He's reliving his nightmares too.

This leaves her feeling slightly less alone.

He meets her eyes, seemingly able to feel her stare, and he gives her a small smile. And suddenly the bile is gone and the tears subside.

The wind blows and all she can hear is the rustle of the trees.

Amusement

His bright eyes are crinkles slightly at the corner and his smile is splitting his face in two.

She hits again much harder this time.

His laughter only gets louder.

"You mustn't tell anyone, it's not…safe." She doesn't mean to sound scared but Gendry is suddenly frowning at her.

"They won't hear it from me."

"Thank you bull."

"Of course milady." He bows to her slightly.

"Ugh!" She huffs.

And suddenly he's on his ass, laughing, and clutching his aching stomach.

Tenderness

They were in a brothel somewhere or another. The men were rambunctious and drunk with whores upon their laps. Arya really didn't want to drink but the strange man next to her insisted that she try the mead. Before she could protest he had taken off to grab them both a cup of the sweet drink.

From the corner of her eye she can see Gendry with a red headed woman on his lap. She can't see his face but the woman is laughing and her tits are bouncing and her feminine neck is mere inches from his lips.

When the man returns with their drinks she does not protest but takes a large gulp. A shiver goes up her spine immediately. She has tasted mead before but nothing like this. It tasted far too bitter. The man smiled at her and drank from his cup greedily. Arya pushed her cup aside and went to make water in the woods.

Arya contemplated just leaving the brothel behind completely and attempting the rest of the trek to the wall by herself.

The cool air felt good and reminded her of home. She longed to run her fingers over the cold stone of her childhood home.

When she had gotten far enough from any prying eyes and she was finished doing her business she stood and a few things hit her at the same time.

The first was a chill up her spine but this was different than the first. This chill left her feeling a bit dizzy and sleepy.

The second was that someone had followed her.

The third was that this might be the night that she died.

Or worse.

Arya turned slowly towards her soon to be attacker.

It was the strange man from the brothel. His greying hair shone white in the moonlight and his dark eyes were sinister and frightening.

Arya tried to take a step back but her body was slow and heavy and she ended up falling onto her back. The man began to approach her silently, a smile playing on his lips.

"It's only going to get harder to move little one. Just let the feeling wash over you." His hand went to tug at his belt. He continued to stalk toward her.

"You didn't drink as much as the other girls so you'll most likely be awake for this and for that I am sorry." He fell to his knees beside her. A bony finger ran up the length of her right leg. Arya did not think this man would have mercy and kill her when he was done, and that scared Arya the most. She shook her head.

"M' boy." Her eyelids were growing unbearably heavy and her tongue felt like it was made of sand; heavy, scratchy and dry against her inner cheeks and teeth.

The man shook his head.

"You seem to have the others fooled, but not me. I happen to find you quite lovely." His finger moved up her stomach and to the top button of her tunic.

"Have you bled yet? Will I leave you with child?" His unbuttoned t first and second button and his fingers touched the top of the wrap that hid her growing breasts. The truth was that she had bled. Since she first got to Kings Landing actually, but she shook her head anyway.

"Boy." Was all she could manage before her eyes shut completely but not before seeing the man smile darkly at her.

Though her eyes were closed she was still mostly awake. Just tired.

_So so so so _tired.

She could feel the man's cold hands on her. Taking off her shirt and starting to unwrap the cotton that flattened her breasts.

She wanted to fight. On her thigh was the dagger that Gendry had given her. He had given her a long piece of leather and instructed her to put it in a place that would be easy to access but remain unseen.

_Gendry. _Was it only a few minutes ago that she had last seen him? It felt like days.

The evil man's hands traveled to the ties of her trousers. The wind that just moments ago felt so comforting and familiar now felt harsh and unforgiving as it the skin of her legs.

She could hear the man start to undress himself and all too fast he was starting to slide he small clothes down to join her trousers.

There was a rustle in the trees.

And then heavy footsteps.

Then warm liquid pooled onto her belly and breasts.

There was a thump.

Arya knew that thump.

That was the sound of lifelessness.

Her name fell from his lips once then twice and after the third time she stopped counting.

She felt a scratchy cloth rub at her skin; wiping away the blood of her almost-rapist. Slowly her clothes were put back onto her. His hand shook as he redressed her, her chest wrap forgotten.

Soon she felt herself being lifted from the cold ground and set into his lap.

"Open your eyes milady, please." He rocked her gently. She wanted to tell him to stop, that the rocking only pulled her further into the darkness.

_I want to. I want to see that you are real. Please eyes just open. _

_Openopenopen._

And they did.

When their eyes met and she looked beyond the tears of both her eyes and his, she saw raw relief and a tenderness that made her whimper.

iv. Rage

Ever since that night outside of the brothel Gendry refused to let Arya out of his sight.

This made Arya _very _angry.

Except at night when it was time to make camp and his would lie _right _beside her and play with her hair until she fell sleep.

This made Arya _very _happy.

But it did not make her forget.

No.

She and Hot Pie were talking quietly one moment and the next he went to flick her playfully and she yelped and recoiled. For a second she felt like she was back there, _helpless_, and scared. She squeezed her eyes shut until the tears went away.

"I'm sorry! Gods, don't tell Gendry!" Hot Pie had cried not realizing that the aforementioned man was only a few steps away.

"Tell me what?" Hot Pie gulped and turned towards the broad man.

"Nothing!" They both said at the same time. Gendry glared at Hot Pie.

"Tell me." Gendry's voice dropped dangerously.

Arya turned to see Hot Pie tremble and guilt crept into her throat.

"Oh leave him alone you stupid bull, he just flicked me and it startled me is all." She patted Hot Pie's shoulder lightly then turned to head back towards the camp.

It's been three days since she stomped away from him and they still aren't talking to each other. She hates that he follows her around and won't let her be. She hates even more that there is a cold silence between them.

An idea formed in her mind, it was simple and safe but would give her a few minutes to herself.

She really wanted a moment to just _think._ To steady herself again, to remember the names on her list, and to run her hands along herself and _feel _that she is solid beneath her own fingers.

When they laid down for sleep, she swatted his hand away when it reached for her, the look of hurt that passed over his face was haunting. He moved to turn away from her but stilled when she ghosted her fingers over the stubble on his jaw. He turned to face her fully.

Her fingers danced over his face.

From his warm cheeks to his slightly crooked nose, over his chapped lips and dimpled chin. His eyes closed and he smiled softly when her hands went to his hair. His hair was soft on her fingers.

Soon he was asleep.

This was her chance.

She stood as quietly as possible and tip toed into the woods.

She went until she could see the light of the fire but none of the men would be able to see her. Perching herself onto a fallen tree she swept the hair out of her face and took a deep breath.

She thought of Gendry.

He was beginning to make her feel _things_. Things other than annoyance and she didn't know what that meant.

That night in the woods, when the man had drugged her and nearly…well the _R_ word is a still a little hard to say even to herself, she had been so angry at Gendry for talking to the red headed whore.

It made her think of Sansa, oddly enough, about how Gendry probably wanted a true lady. A lady with red hair, clear pale skin, and eyes that shined for him.

He wanted someone _soft_.

When she left the brothel to make water, she huffed that he could have soft for all she cared.

She didn't need him.

But when she was at her most vulnerable and scared, she thought of him. When she opened her eyes and saw him, she had never ever felt a greater relief. And while she'll never admit that she needs him, she does _want _him.

She wants him like a woman wants a man.

But if she can only have him as a friend, so be it.

This makes her think of Sansa again.

Arya really missed her sister terribly. The way Sansa used to pull on her knotted hair with a brush and tut at her for being covered in mud was surprisingly affectionate now that Arya really thought about it. She would do anything to have her sister's comfort right now.

"Are you stupid?"

Arya bit back a yelp of surprise as Gendry's deep voice penetrated her thoughts. She turned to look at him.

She wished she hadn't.

He looked enraged as he took two steps towards her and pulled her to her feet. His hands held her small wrists tightly.

"Oh fuck off. I just needed a minute stupid!" Arya tried to pull her arm away but he his grip tightened. He laughed but there was no humor to it.

"Only you would think that I'm the stupid one here."

"You are the stupid one here. In fact, you're always the stupid one! I learned my lesson, I won't take drinks from strange men and I probably won't drink at all ever again! And I'm sorry that you were torn away from that whore's teat but I never asked you for your help. Okay? Are you happy now?" They were both breathing heavily. Arya knew that her pale wrists were going to be bruised tomorrow.

"You think I was interested in that woman?" His grip on her loosened slightly, but it was enough for her small hands to slip through and she took a step away from him.

"You looked like you were very interested." Although she never saw his face, she was sure that a man would have to be a fool to not fawn over the red headed woman's bust and slender neck.

But then again, Arya thought Gendry a mighty fool.

"Then I was right, you are stupid." He refused to look at her but she could see his scowl before he walked away from her.

Arya did not follow immediately; instead she gave herself a few more moments to collect her thoughts. What did he mean by calling her _stupid_? Why is he acting like this? What he said was cryptic and she truly did believe that he was overreacting by following her around but she felt guilt at yelling at him. He had saved her and didn't judge her for crying. That night he had carried her back to the brothel and set her gently into the bed that they were supposed to share. It was the first time that he had played with her hair. While she wept upon her scratchy pillow, he held her hand and whispered comforting words into her ear. He held her while she slept and then woke her before then sun had risen to take her to bathe the rest of the blood away. _Stupid Gendry. Stupid guilt._ She huffed and scurried back to her bedroll.

Much to her surprise Gendry had not moved his furs away from hers. Instead he had his back turned to her where she noticed that his breath was uneven.

Arya returned to the warmth of her furs beside him. Her hand reached out to touch his back, he stilled but did not pull away from her.

"I never did thank you. I might have survived his assault, but I certainly wouldn't have wanted to." Her hands slid into her hair, scratching his scalp lightly.

He remained quiet for so long that Arya thought that he might have fallen asleep. She pulled her hand away and tucked it under her head like she always did. Her eyes were closed for only a moment when she heard him shift, tired but wanting so badly to make things right with him, Arya opened her eyes.

"Did you happen to think about how I noticed you were gone? How quickly I came to find you?" His voice was tender and the rage was gone from his eyes.

"No, I hadn't thought about that." Gendry placed his hand gently upon hers.

"I can't help but to look at you milady. You have me bewitched." He brought her knuckles to his lips, pressing his lips into her skin softly. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"H-how long did it take you to come up with that last bit?" The mirth in her voice was not lost on him. He smiled lazily at her and tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear.

"You don't look like a boy anymore." His voice was heavy with something that she couldn't recognize.

"Perhaps I should cut my hair again?" Their faces were so close but she knew he wouldn't kiss her. This was an intimate moment that needed no kiss or touch to make it special. It was a young man and woman talking to each other as lovers do.

"No, don't cut it. You look too much like a woman now; there is no sense in hiding it. When we come along people and they ask we shall say that we are married." The word married fell from his lips with a touch of bitterness but also a little hope and she could do nothing but nod.

v. Sadness and hope.

They had been in a tavern when they heard the news of what people were calling the Red Wedding. Arya sat stunned until Gendry pulled her to her feet and out the door and he didn't stop dragging her along until they reached the river. When he dropped her hand she immediately began to sway, the world spinning madly under her feet. He grabbed her shoulders and helped her to sit on the snowy grass.

"They're dead." The words felt like acid on her tongue. Gendry only nodded.

"I think somewhere in my mind I already knew." She grabbed for his hand and held it like a life line.

"How do you mean?"

"I woke up last night when I had a nightmare and-and I could hear the wolves howling. It was the howl of a mourning pack. And I think I just knew that my lady mother and brave brother were taken from me." She doesn't feel the tears until they drop from her chin and even then they are foreign to her. She feels coldness dwell its way deep inside of her spirit and she wonders if she will ever be able to be warm again.

When she looks at Gendry she can see his eyes brimming with tears and she hates herself more than ever. He shouldn't be here. He should be in a warm forge somewhere with a pretty wife and sweet children. But he's not, he's covered in mud and blood, most of which is not his own. He's cold and sad and without a light at the end of this gods forsaken tunnel. Part of her wants to throw rocks at him as she did Nymeria in hopes of him running from her and her darkness so that he may live the life that he was supposed to live. The other part of her wants him to reach inside of her and pull the darkness out and banish it to back from where it came. She wants to be his pretty wife with the sweet little babes in the warm forge somewhere, _anywhere _that is not here.

"Gendry," she half whispers, "why don't we leave? Go to Braavos…where we could get married and live until we are old and tired." She watches as hope flickers across his eyes but it is gone as soon as it comes. It is replaced by anger and his jaw ticks.

"You do not mean that _milady_."

She reels away from him as if he has slapped her. She stands and turns her back to him.

"I do but if you do not believe me then fine, I will leave and you can stay here and freeze to death for all I care." She tries to move but her knees are weak and her feet are as heavy as stone and she feels utterly helpless. His arms circle her and his chin rests on her shoulder.

"You do not wish to leave the north Arya." He is so sure that she finds herself almost believing it too.

"I do, the cold is not so friendly anymore. It is a reminder of things lost." Her knees finally give and they both sink down to the ground. He cradles her in his lap and she sobs until her throat is sore and her eyes refuse to make any more tears.

"You will never be happy until those who have wronged you are dead. Until you have won back the North and a crown rests upon Sansa's head."

Her hand makes its way to his cheek and she stokes his warm skin lightly.

"You make me happy. I would marry you if you asked."

"I am a nobody, milady. You must marry a lord, someone worthy of your hand." He sounds more like he is trying to convince himself than her. She smiles and it hurts her dry cracked lips but it feels real and it feels good.

"You're not nobody to me, you're my everything." He's smiling too and that hopeful look in his eyes is back with full force and it's so beautiful that she nearly cries again but before she can shed another tear he is kissing her.

He kisses her lips and cheeks and nose then moves onto her eyelids and forehead and the cold is still in her heart but the place where Gendry rests in her heart and soul is warm and comforting. She loves him and she is going to defeat all of her enemies and then she will wed him and have his children.

vi. Love

It's certainly isn't the first time she has seen this look, but it is the first time that she understands it.

It's only been a few days since she heard of the death of her mother and brother and she's still horribly shattered but Gendry is kind and patient while he slowly puts her back together.

They find an inn and pay for a room, bath, and meal. They are the cat and the bull and they are _married._ Gendry smiles like a child when he says it to the inn keeper. _"Yes, my wife and I would like a room please_." He says and she squeezes his hand tightly and she knows that she's grinning like a fool too.

When they are bathed and fed they go to their room and there is an awkward silence as they watch each other from across the room. She takes a step towards him and he takes one towards her and then they are in each other's arms and there is a frenzy of kissing and nipping and gasps.

He kisses her throat and sucks at the skin where her neck and shoulder meet and she has to hold onto his shoulders because there she might fall over from the waves of pleasure tingling down her spine. His hands are rubbing her breasts over her shirt and she's trying desperately to tell him to take off his clothes but the only thing coming from her mouth is his name in small mewls. He grinds himself into her and when she moans loudly he pulls away. They're both breathless and pink from their kissing and touching but he looks torn.

"I could put a bastard in you." He tries to step away from her completely but she shakes her head and holds onto him.

"I stole some moon tea from a brothel many weeks ago. Enough for a few nights of love making." She reaches up to kiss him and this time he does not hold back.

She lays naked in front of him and he gives her _that _look. She knows what it means and her eyes grow wet. He loves her. He loves her more than anything in his life. He opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.

"I love you." She whispers. He blinks at her and swallows thickly.

"And I love you milady."

He sinks into her and they become one and she never wants the love in his eyes to go away.

Vi. Fear

They have been to the seven hells and back together and never once has she seen him look as scared as he does now. She lies on their bed in the newly rebuilt Winterfell and she can hear Sansa sniffling to her left but right now Arya only has eyes for Gendry. He steps into the room and Sansa excuses herself with a promise that she will be back in a few minutes with some tea. The door closes behind her and Arya and Gendry stare at each other.

She sees love and joy behind the fear gripping him. He sits on the bed next to her and she holds out the bundle in her arms, urging him to take it. He hesitates for a moment before gently taking the babe into his hands.

She knows that he has worried these past nine months about hurting the babe; he hasn't made love to her or let her out of his sight since he found out that she was with child. On a night with a full moon half way through her pregnancy he came to her from the forge a mess of tears and told her that he didn't know if he could be a father. He told her between sobs that he was a rough oaf and his hands had never known gentle. _"I have never known a more gentle man in my life Gendry. You don't need to learn gentleness because it already resides in you."_ She had cooed to him. And now watching him hold little Ned, she knew she was right.

"Our baby, Arya. We have a baby." He smiles through his tears and turns to her. She nods and watches as the fear drifts away and gives way to a look of utter happiness that emanates from his soul.

This is her favorite look.


End file.
